


Closer Than Most

by theemmadilemma



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Evelyn Evelyn, Existential Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Songfic, baby's first existential crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-15 23:20:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10559402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theemmadilemma/pseuds/theemmadilemma
Summary: After the incident at the 5th Laboratory, Alphonse has questions about himself, his brother, and his humanity. When he confronts Edward, it begins to escalate. If Winry hadn't stepped in when she did, where would it have led?Oneshot / Songfic based on Evelyn Evelyn





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first publication on AO3 :)
> 
> This is a songfic, based on a song called Evelyn Evelyn, which I recently fell in love with. I highly suggest you listen to it after reading. I've even dropped a link :)
> 
> Enjoy ;)

# Closer Than Most

 

 

_“We grew up closer than most_   
_Closer than anything, closer than anything_   
_Shared our bed, wore the same clothes_   
_Talked about everything, spoke about so many things…”_

Alphonse sat silently on a stool, watching his brother sleep in the hospital bed in front of him. Edward’s chest rose and fell with his breaths. He was snoring slightly. Al stood up and left the room, closing the door softly. He walked down the hallway to a secluded section, and went to sit down, when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He gazed into his own eyes—or rather, where they would be—and felt his heart ache. Just the night before at the fifth laboratory, Barry had asked him how he knew that he was human. And, in all honesty, he wasn’t sure. Nothing about him looked human, that was for sure. His cold, metal shell supposedly held something real: memories, emotions, love.  
As he thought back to his childhood, the memories and emotions were becoming fuzzy. Was that part of growing up? Or was it something more sinister?

“Are you sure you’re not a puppet created by your so-called brother?” Barry’s voice echoed in his mind, mocking him.

  
“No, I’m not...” Al caught himself saying. He realized that he’d been looking into the mirror for some time, without really looking, and seated himself on the bench. He heard Brosh wheeling Ed down the hallway, chatting. In his mind, he was making himself as small as he could. He wanted to hide, for the Earth to swallow him up.

“Hey, Al!” Edward called.

“B-brother…” Al replied, startled.

“You know you can come to the room, right?” Ed asked. Al froze. He saw Ed’s worried expression and wished he would just let him be. He felt patronized, albeit mistakenly.

“I’ll be there in a little bit.”

“Oh, okay.” The sound of the wheelchair squeaking faded as they headed back to the hospital room. Al put his head in his hands and sighed. He pulled himself together enough to head to see his brother.

As Al opened the door, Ed and Winry were arguing about milk, and didn’t seem to notice the door open. He shut the door and walked away. He heard his name muffled through the door, and stopped for a moment to hear, but he couldn’t make anything out of importance. The sun was setting, so Alphonse decided to go for a walk to clear his head.

It didn’t. After a few hours, Al came back to the secluded bench and mirror area, and leaned against the wall, alone with his thoughts for the next 8 hours.

The next morning, Al came in to Ed’s room, quietly, as to not wake him. He watched him sleeping, the rhythm of his breaths calming him slightly. The nurse pushed into the doorway, pulling a meal cart with her. Edward startled awake, and she grimaced.

“Sorry hun, didn’t mean to wake you. Here’s breakfast.” Ed swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up. He glared at the milk.

“We meet again, you little bastard. I’m not going to drink you!” Ed grumbled.

“Brother, you have a living body that needs nourishment.” Barry’s laugh echoed again. “You have to drink it.” He sighed, crestfallen.

“Not happening. What’s eating you lately?” Ed asked, mouth full of bread.

“Nothing.”

“Don’t feed me that crap.” Ed rolled his eyes.

“I think we need to spend some time apart.” Al said flatly.

“Huh? What do you mean? Everything’s just coming together! I need you!” A lot of confusion, and bit of panic found its way into his voice.

“A parasite needs a host, right?.” Al muttered. “I don’t want to be the parasite anymore.”

“Parasite? Al, you’re not a parasite! You’re my brother. You may be younger, but I look up to you, literally.” Ed making a joke at his own expense was extremely rare. “You’re so powerful! Especially like this!”

That was it. Al stood up with enough force to knock the stool over.

“I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS! I NEVER WANTED THIS!” He shouted with as much venom as he could muster.

“I know Al, I’m sorry. It’s my fault you’re like this. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m going to get our bodies back, I promise.” Ed’s heart clenched.

Al’s fists were balled, and his voice was choked up. “You always say that! You don’t KNOW that!”

Ed furrowed his brow. “Of course, I do! I’m only trying to do what’s best for us.”

Al scoffed. “For us? Or for you? Am I even really your brother? Or am I some TOY that you CREATED?” He wished he could cry.

“Alphonse! You’re real! Don't you remember before?” Edward was beginning to raise his voice. He felt tears welling up in his eyes, and was trying his best to blink them back.

“What does it take to implant a memory, Edward? NOTHING. You said you were afraid to tell me something, and, well, I think I know. You, and Winry, and Granny are all in on this. Well, let me tell you. Every night, I see you sleep. I feel like a ghost because I just sit there, at your side, all alone with myself. I don’t even FEEL human anymore.” Alphonse wasn't sure if he was feeling himself calming down, or maybe just losing the mental energy to keep this up.

Edward met Alphonse’s eyes and smiled weakly. He remembered his little brother, before everything. He felt like he was home again. “Do you remember when we—“

“Don’t.” Alphonse interrupted sharply.

“I’m just reminiscing.” Ed looked down at the remainder of bread.

“Well, stop it.” He began to leave the room. Ed reached out to grab his hand. “Don’t touch me.”

“Al—“

“Just leave me ALONE!” Al yelled as he pushed out of the room. and Ed’s eyes began to sting. He couldn’t hold it back any longer.  
A single tear rolled down his face as Winry walked in with her toolbox.

“Ed…” She whispered "What just happened?". He smiled achingly at her, the whites of his eyes starting to redden.

“I was right. I told you he blamed me.” She gingerly sat on the edge of the bed and brushed his hair out of his eyes. He put his forehead on her shoulder and sighed a shaky sigh.

“Just give him some time to himself.” Winry said. “He’ll come around.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I greatly appreciate comments, they help me improve :D
> 
> Here's a link to the song Evelyn Evelyn:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkXC5BF-nGo


End file.
